I've been asked by everyone how I am doing and the truth is this process has been very difficult. I have been staying as positive as I can, however there is a lot of stress associated with having cancer. Besides actually having cancer I have to go through many procedures, make difficult decisions and attend many appointments that were not expected. Even though I have experienced so much kindness and love because I don't appear to be sick I feel I get judged sometimes by people that don't know what I am going through. The other day I went to one of my appointments on my own and was lost in the cancer section in the building. I politely asked if I was in the correct area and the lady at the desk rudely replied this area is for cancer patients only. I responded by saying actually I do have cancer. This is the common don't judge a book by its cover and I feel because I am young and don't look "sick" that people assume I am not going through something. I also have had the difficult decision of going through fertility treatments. This has probably been the worst experience thus far. I walked into the fertility clinic surrounded by 30 other couple holding hands and preparing to start families. I went in knowing that I have to go through this because unfortunately I may not have the choice to have babies after this process. After much thought and research I have decided to undergo fertility. I may still able to have children after all this but I am taking a risk after what I will putting my body through. I do want to explain that this was a very difficult decision based on the high cost and difficult procedure but in the end I want to have the choice with my future partner to have a family. The fact is that if I wait to see after this process I will be older and may have more problems getting pregnant if I choose too. I will also be on a medication called tamoxifen for 10 years after my treatments due to the type of cancer I have. This medicine will be essential for the process of not having the cancer returning however If I ever want to have children I will have to take a break of the medicine. Essentially the shorter I am on the medicine the better. This has all made an impact on my decision and even though its been a difficult one I know it is the right one for me. Below is a link for anyone who has any questions about fertility process while having cancer. I appreciate the reminders of kindness and courage and thanks to my friend Tanis who sent me the below photo. This really has been a challenging experience but knowing that one day it will be over and the kindness that is out there is really getting me through. Jenn xo
http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/fert_preg_adopt/treatments/chemotherapy
http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/fert_preg_adopt/treatments/chemotherapy